Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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