There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
