just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
