Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
