i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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