Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
