All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize