It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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