Nicole vs. Life
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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