i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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