Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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