I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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