So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Houston, we have a squirter
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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