Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
