haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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