Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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