Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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