if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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