wakey wakey hands off snakey
her vagine was all disorganized.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And then my night got REAL pukey
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
