There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize