Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
