what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's just like the Real World with babies
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
