By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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