You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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