the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Randomize
