Your face is a jimmy john
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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