How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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