Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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