well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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