Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
