Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
