Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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