This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
