Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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