Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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