Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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