Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
