Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
