Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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