I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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