also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
