i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
