He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think your dad took our porno
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
