haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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