we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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