It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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