I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
