$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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