just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
