it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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