The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
