just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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