I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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