I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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