btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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